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Which Of These Ideas Do You Prefer For My Book?

I would just like afew opinions, thanks :)
My book is about a man, David Retz, who, as a child was part of his father gang, killing and hunting the gangs enemies but he left at age 18, pulled some strings and managed to become an FBI agent (too long to explain).
10 years later he’s one of the top agents, he’s got everything he ever needs, new home, his wife to be, a child due for birth in 2 months but it all comes to a tragic end when…
I have this much written, here are my 2 ideas for the book:
1) During a gang war between 3 gangs, including David’s old gang, David is sent to hunt one of the leaders, his brother, in Central park, upon confronting him in the toilets they try plan a way for his brother, Marc, to escape. The plan goes according to plan as Marc makes a run for it out o the park, but is sniped several seconds later.
David bursts into tears as he roars ‘You bastards! You killed my brother!’
His cover is blown, and now the FBI, and every cop in New York has been assigned to kill the traitor. David rejoins his old gang, and begins his fight for survival, to conquer the city.
2) David gets a phone call from Marc saying their mother has been killed. At the funeral, Marc tells David he saw gunshot wounds on his mother indicating she was murdered, now David secretly rejoins his gang, without the FBI knowing, and goes out to seek the killer using state of the art military and FBI gadet’s.
So, which one do you prefer?
Thanks :)


4 Comments

  1. εɓoƞyƪɨly ϟ.Ɫightning.ϟ says:

    1) He would not be a “traitor” merely because his brother is in a gang. The entire premise of the plot is unrealistic.
    2) The second idea is actually reasonable… although how he actually gets into the FBI with his history will have to have a lot of explanation.
    Addendum: One thing I will point out–you seem to think officers and FBI agents are tasked to *kill* targets. That is never the case–they are to take suspects alive and retaliate with deadly force *only* if not doing so would endanger the lives of others. It would not be enough if the person was considered armed and dangerous; they would have to see him visibly endangering the lives of others before they would shoot him.

  2. Darth Hater says:

    How about this. He gets a call that his mother was shot. He goes to see her and that’s where he sees his brother, who’s also there to see her. They both decide to hunt down the murderer. Mafia and feds teaming up. His brother ends up dying, he finds out there’s a traitor on the inside (which led to his brothers death). He finds the person, yadda yadda yadda. then goes to the waffle house. Btw, they wouldn’t hunt him down because he used to be in a gang.

  3. Denmark says:

    Reminds me of south park:) “OMG they killed Kenny! You bastards!”:D

  4. Nicholas R says:

    You must be careful that your story is not too complicated and allows for character development. We don’t normally care about the story (read something similar before most likely) as much as for the characters and small details, see RedMoon bella, david whatever – love triangle, emo girl, glowing skin is there anything else in there? How come your character is a killer and then a family man? Have you read Derek Finegan ‘Logan’s world’ where government sandman turns into a runner – killer to pray? Read maybe Jason Bourne and his relationship with his friends in later books when he recovers some memory… Cheers
    I hate books where everyone dies, why not just meet and slowly get in trouble. LIke the story #2 just because he secretly joins the gang and how that will turn out. He is sniped, saw gunshot wound – are you like 5?

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