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please tell me what you think of this story that i wrote it is only supposed to be short any comments welcome-negative and positive be Honest
Life and death-facing each other
Ling an average girl of 14 years old; however she had something huge to face up to. It was the middle of winter, the season that’s the most magical with its glistening pure white snow and the sound of jingle bells in the background, which makes you, want to jive. Everyone has high spirits in winter during the festivities everyone except ling and her loving family.
Ling had just arrived back from hospital on the 15th December, “only 10 days till Christmas” the town crier shouted out beyond his big hairy beard and deep soul full voice. But ling did’t know if she would have that long. Every time ling went to the hospital she mentioned how much she wanted to be like one of the doctors saving others, but she knew inside it was unlikely to happen. Ling had planned out her whole life in her head her job, husband well her dream husband –Gary Barlow, her wedding, her children. Her mum was always telling her that you can’t predict your future but this never stopped ling from trying .When ling got home she lay on the sofa with her mum after ripping of her wig, she said with a sorrow “before this i was a lively, normal teenage girl now look what i have become, a bewildered wreck”. Ling had the most beautiful long wavy blonde hair, as blonde as Barbie most would say Ling was never the sort to go out bragging about her good looks she was always the one to get on with life whatever it threw at her except this…
Eccarn she called it, the thing that was slowly taking away her life. I think the thing missed most was her hair, due to her treatment it had been taken. Her beautiful wavy blonde hair was taken. Instead she used a wig it looked the same from the outside but she said it just wasn’t the same. Month by month, week by week, day by day Ling was slowly deteriorating although she tried to stay strong it was evident that she wasn’t. It was although she had a strong mind living in someone else’s week body.
24th December 2010 -Christmas Eve, it’s a time of love and festivities for most but Ling’s family where only feeling sadness, for ling had been taken in the night. Ling had been suffering for some time, the blood in lings body used to be so sweet and innocent but it had turned sour slowly killing Ling .She had been suffering for quite some time her body slowly growing weaker and weaker by the 23rd December she hadn’t been out of her bed for 2 days so we knew it was coming, her last moments we just didn’t want to admit it and neither did she.
Eccarn – an anagram for cancer .Cancer the thing that everyone hates to talk about. Cancer the thing no one wants. Cancer the thing that took Ling’s life away .If i was to describe cancer it would be a falcon it swoops down when you’re not watching and takes away the things that mean the most to you.
24th December 2011-one year on, it was Christmas eve and the whole family got together to think about the one they all missed, even though they had all sad good bye to ling at the funeral her mum, Sophie felt they should say a speech in memory of her-“one year ago today our ling who was so beautiful was taken from us by eccarn as she liked to call it. Until eccarn came along ling an average teenage, ever so smart she hadn’t ever missed a day at school and was always out with friends having fun without out a care in the world and then this came along like a big black cloud over our heads. As you all know ling had been suffering for quite some time as her body organ by organ was slowly being demolished until only her heart was left, we all knew that ling had to leave soon but no one quite knew how it would affect our family.”
Ever since Ling became ill she always mentioned how she would like to help others if she survived by becoming a doctor, she knew that this is what she wanted to do. By helping others ling knew that she would be helping herself and teach others that there is hope after an illness ,however ling never got to have her dream like many other children who have to fight for there lives. Ling an average teenage girl , full filling her dream of helping others ,she may not be on earth with the rest of her family and friends but at least she is happy.