I’ve been planning my suicide for weeks now – if not months. I wrote a note addressed to my cloeset friend: my brother. I even wrote instructions for my family to have whatever funeral they wish and asking them not to feel guilty. I took myself out for a meal alone at TGI Friday’s, as it was my favourite place as a kid. I came home, made a bath, checked I had my note and then prepared to overdose.
That’s when remorse hit me. I’d only taken 2 of the tablets, so I poured the rest down the drain. I wanted to live for a little while longer. Now I’m sitting here with tears pouring down my face and typing this because I’m too weak to end my suffering even though I can’t cope with living anymore. I can’t help thinking I chickened out. How lame am I? Killing myself is the only thing I need to do and I can’t even do that right.
In case you’re wondering, I have PTSD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder and Anorexia. My shrink would like to tell me that I have Dissociative Identity Disorder too – but I’m not convinced. It’s not like it really matters…either way I’ll have to suffer through life with these mental problems and I’m not strong enough to fight it. Not strong enough to accept it.
Anyway, I digress. Could anybody help me make the decision? To be or not to be, that is the question.
I’m not sure if this is a cry for help or just a way to vent my feelings, Anyway, I’d appreciate answers of any kind. That’s all I’m looking for, really. Answers. x
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Don’t do it
Get help please
Please don’t do it. DID follows many symptoms of other disorders, maybe you don’t have them you just have DID.
Call your shrink. You need immediate intervention, and he or she will have a number you can call if they are not available.
I think getting on Yahoo Answers to plan any event is a singularly bad idea. We’re glad for you to vent your feelings if it keeps you from suicide, but setting up a Yahoo Answers account yesterday (2-15) puts off a decision either way. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, and I’d always advise against it.
Please call somebody and try to reach out for help.
Try the samaritans, get in touch with your doctor, get in touch with your religious leaders, get in touch with your brother
You may be dropping into depressive phase, get help to live through this
please don’t do it. there is millions of reasons why you shouldn’t end your life. everybody is born for a reason. maybe you still have to keep looking for something special to keep you going. remember don’t give up yet… you still have to keep shining like the brightest star at night. seriously, if you actually see, there is many people in this world who may have been influenced by you in a good way. if you poured the pills down the drain… you have given yourself a second chance… don’t let it slip away. you will not regret it. i hope you feel better and take your chance God has given you.
Please don’t do it, please, please, please don’t do it. You might not realize it now, but there are so many people who care about you, so many people who would miss you like crazy if you were gone forever. This is just one part of your life; you’re strong and you can get through this, I know you can. You’re still young and you still have so much life ahead of you. You only get one life, do you realize that? There are people who don’t have a choice, people with cancer and other terminal diseases. You’re an amazing person. I know you have a lot of problems, but with time, everything gets better- I promise! Just stay strong, keep calm and carry on! And if you ever need to talk, please don’t hesitate to email me. Well, I don’t check this one alot, but you can email me at shortfastloudx@aim.com.
“Isn’t it nice to know that you haven’t yet laughed, all that you’ll laugh? That you haven’t yet met, some of your very best friends? And that you haven’t yet dreamed, all that you’ll manifest? That all bridges will be mended? That all sadness will be healed? That all of your challenges will be won? That all of your triumphs will be shared? And that the difference you’ll make, has already begun? Well, it is for me, because I also know that if you don’t see these things yet, you will. Could it get any better?”