Well actually it is my grandmother. She raised me since I was born. My bio mother (grandmothers daughter) is developmentally disabled & schizophrenic. My dad will have nothing to do with me. He wrote me a letter when I was 8 saying he didn’t want to be a father. Whenever I try to call him he won’t come to the phone.
My grandmother was diagnosed with a terminal illness when I was 13 (I’m 21 now) & she is now in Hospice & in the final stages. I take care of her at home. The Hospice nurse called to tell me to prepare myself b/c she has less than a year left…
My grandmother has three kids. A daughter (my biological mother) and 2 sons. Her sons will not speak to her or me (they haven’t for years…since I was like 2) b/c they disagreed with her decision to raise me. They thought I should be put in foster care. I tried to call them about my grandmother (they know she is terminally ill) but the one never called me back & his wife said he has “issues” with my grandmother and me. He works as a pharmacist at the same hospital my grandmother was admitted into numerous times & never went to visit her. The other yelled at me that he had his own family and not to call him back. He hung up on me.
I feel alone and scared. If something happens to my grandmother I will be all alone. I have no money or knowledge to plan a funeral. What do I do? How do I make my family come back together??
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You gotta catch em all. POKEMON!!!
its hard but you need to get over it, your family are not interested. don’t beat yourself up about it, its not you they dislike but more your mum/dad. they are all selfish people, you were an innocent child. i don’t know how it is in the states, but in the uk there is help with funeral costs if you are on low or no income. you do whats best for your grandmother when she dies and whats best for you. they’ll probably come out of the woodwork to take over everything – and sadly they will have the right being next of kin, but know in your heart that your grandmother knows you are the only one who has been there for her. try and find a counseling group to talk too and get support from, your hospice should be able to help x lots of hugs x
Mal,
God is with you. Pray for your uncles, your father and let them go. Love them from a distance. Instead try to reach out to someone on the opposite side of the family. Does you grandmother or your grandfather have any siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, or friends living? Everything will be okay. Just keep your eyes open for help because it will show up right when you need it. And you are NOT alone. I care about what you are going through and I don’t even know you. You are NOT disposable. Your grandmother didn’t think that and you shouldn’t, regardless of what your family makes you feel. You may have to do some research on planning a funeral and finding a job but you’ll get it. Contact a few funeral homes and asks questions about a simple burial and budget costs. The comment above is right about the ‘Next of Kin’ thing. Unless you grandmother had a will, stating what you could have, that was witnessed and notarized. But you will make it, Just hold your head.
I’d first say that you shouldn’t take your uncles behaviors to be anything about yourself, their issues are about your grandmother and mother; the relationships they had with them. So, don’t take their behavior to heart, the only people who can do anything about the state of things is them. Just keep your heart open should they come to their sense. I’d suggest seeing if the hospice has a social worker that can help you with getting through the process of your grandmother’s death and the funeral process. Speak to your grandmother to see if there is anything she’ d like for you to do for her, perhaps she has something set aside for this or you. Otherwise, enjoy the time you have with her and deal with planning the details of the funeral when it is necessary to plan one, not before. We all have our family that we given in the world and the one we choose, look to your chosen family for your support.