My grandfather died. I was really close to him. But my daughter wasn’t all that close to him. She’s a single mother that doesn’t get out of the house that much and had planned on going to an event that is five hours away this saturday and has been planning it for two months. The funeral is going to be this saturday. Like I said she doesn’t get out much and she rarely has anyone watch her children just so she can go out and have fun. She works full time and goes to school full time and this is the first time since her children were born that she has been able to go anywhere other than work or school. I can understand being a single mother and wanting to be able to go out of the house. And the fact that she wasn’t that close to her great grandfather is partly my fault since we moved 2 hours away from them. Maybe its grief thats clouding my judgement but I’m not sure how I should take this. I really can’t take smart *** answers right now, but should I be upset about it?
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i personally think u should let ur daughter go saturday then have her go to the wake or something the day before or after! of make her come home intime for the burial!
Give her your blessing and send her off to get a little spiritual and physical rejuvenation. Go to the funeral and take care of yourself. There is no guilt because you did what you needed to do when she was young and there is none if she does what she needs to do now to take care of herself and her responsibilities.
Sorry, but she needs to postpone this evening out. A funeral trumps that, whether she was close or not. YOU were close, and she should respect that. Or, she could get another sitter. Maybe you could help her with that. HS kids do babysit, and you could get recommendations from a local church, maybe, as well. However, I would not miss a funeral for an event, nor would I have ever considered asking my mother to do so. No way.
I was a single mom, too, so I know how hard that is, but she needs to consider you here as well. This is a funeral, and you can’t change that schedule. She needs to understand, and either skip her event, or find someone else to watch her kids so that you can go.
Condolences on the loss of your grandfather, too. Never easy.
Edit – There is another option – take the kids to the funeral with you, if that’s possible financially.
Your doughter should go out of respect for becouse you are her mother and you where close to him so she should go it for you. But that is “should land” and honestly she wasn’t close to him and didn’t really know him so of she can’t make it, then she can’t make it. She is a single mother mad has a lot of work to do. If she doesn’t go however, don’t hold it over her head. Hope I could help. Then again I’m only 14 so it’s you choice to listen to me on that one.
I would say let your daughter do what she feels is right. The choice should be up to her, i understand it is a painfull experience but since u expressed the situation of ur daughter its only fair to let her do what she feels is right.
This is a hard one. If she has young children to care for and no one to mind them for the funeral then the funeral is an impossibility. Paying your respects to family members is important but sometimes other obligations like children and no babysitters can be a problem. Try talking to your daughter again and ask whether she would come to the funeral .She should be there for you. I am sorry for your loss.