I’m a teenage girl. I hope I don’t come across as a paranoid loser but I’m beginning to think there may be something wrong with me, mentally.
As a child I was incredibly shy, almost mute really, I wouldn’t talk to strange adults atall, but given time to gain there trust I would talk to children my own age and utter the odd word to adults. I wasn’t nervous atall, or scared of much, I was just ridiculously withdrawn.
I guess I grew out of it by the age of about 10, I got pretty outspoken for a while, quite rude at times and very selfish. That too passed in time.
I’m a fully fledged compulsive liar, I lie all day, everyday about things as small as how many sugars I like in my tea to coming up wth elaborate stories and tales of my own past misfortune. I have lied like this from a very young age. I have no idea why I do it, but I find it impossible trying to stop.
Things that should upset me, such as the death of a loved one, don’t seem to affect me atall, I had to make myself cry by staring at a light at my nans funeral so I didn’t look uninterested, when really she meant the world to me, I just didn’t feel it.
bleurgh, I’m rambling so i’ll just list the other things that are making me think this…
- I have a fixation on the fact I was abused as a child, even though there is no evidence I ever was.
- I am ridiculously self conscience of the way I look. Yet in the back of my mind I feel there is no one better looking than me.
- I am a adrenaline junkie and get a buzz out of taking risks.
- I feel I am superior, I genuinley believe everything i do and say is right, though I lie to make myself seem humble and genuine.
- I have planned my own suicide many times, but just for fun. I know I wouldn’t do it.
- I have thoughts of me doing terrible things.
I don’t know, maybe I’m paranoid and just a bit of a horrible person. I just need opinions and advice of others instead of it keep goinground in my own head.
any answers will honestly be greatly appreciated.
anyone?
Loading ...
There is a chance you have a narcissistic personality. This does not mean that you have narcissistic personality disorder and it also doesn’t mean that you are in love with yourself. People with a narcissistic personality regard themselves very highly, but are actually very self conscious. They have feelings of superiority, lie often (usually to get attention or to make themselves look good), pursue selfish goals, and have problems feeling empathy. This sounds a lot like what you are describing, although it does not explain the quietness as a child. And remember, this does not mean you have the disorder– it just means that you have this personality type. If these behaviors start to disrupt your life, you may have the disorder. I hope this helped, and didn’t come off as mean.
if you’re admitting you’re so horrible, then i don’t think you really are…
maybe you secretly like it this way?
Honestly, it just mostly sounds like you’re a teenager with impulse control issues. I know you say you find it impossible not to lie, but that’s probably not true. You just don’t want to not lie. You’re seeking attention and fixated on ways to get more. What you need to do is force yourself to grow up a bit and be rational instead of impulsive. Of course, you actually have to want to change how you are before anyone’s advice will do you any good and it doesn’t sound like you do.