My cousin’s grandfather (not my blood relative) is in the hospital and might pass away during Christmas time. He, and the remainder of my family, live in a town 5 hours from where I live. I’m going to visit to this town for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day. On Boxing Day, I’m driving directly to a local ski resort to meet with my friends, and we’ll be staying there for 4 days.
The thing is, if this relative of mine dies within the 3 days I am there, I will be expected to attend the funeral. I will have to stay in the town for longer, and will definitely miss the local ski resort.
I’m just trying to figure out if it would be wrong if I didn’t go to the funeral. My entire family will expect me there and not going could result in boiled blood.
But this trip means a lot to me. My friends and I have been planning and looking forward to it for a year now and I’m extremely excited for it.
What do I do?
I asked myself, “Okay. If I just passed away, and one of my funeral guests would be missing out on something special to them because of their attendance, wouldn’t I want them to go to their something special?” I don’t feel immature in saying yes, I would most definitely want them to go. But maybe that is immature. Or maybe I don’t have respect.
Thoughts?
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Death is worth life.
Death is worth your life.
Life may be…
I personally would not go to my cousins grandfathers funeral. I hate funerals anyway and have bowed out of a lot of them. I also dont go to graveyards (not even my own parents). I went to their funerals of course. if it were me, i would not go and if you set a precedent, dont go to future relatives funerals unless it’s a little closer related!
Go to the trip!
he wont assist to your funeral too
I am sure the dead guy won’t mind if you go on your vacation. Just pray for him while you’re at the ski trip.
Death is worth the life and memories of the person it was lived by and those they shared their experiences with. A funeral is a time to reflect on the memories you had with a loved one. It’s an important time because, it a special moment where everyone can gather and share their memories and experiences. It is a time of complete focus on the loved one who passed away and acts and a finalizing chapter for many to move on. Whether you should go to the funeral or not depends on whether you are able to still fulfill this closure with yourself and your family.
Just remember this .. whatever choice you make, you’ll have to deal with the consequences for the rest of your life. There will be other ski dates, but only one funeral for this person. Regardless of the family’s expectations, you’re an adult and capable of making your own decisions for your own reasons, and apparently, you don’t owe any of your relatives anything (like respect), much less the deceased.
“Cousins’ Grandfather’….? That is not “close enough” of a relative
for you to change your plans….Send a card with a small array
of flowers… ( your families “expectations”..)? They sound like
they are concerned about “appearances”….such nonsense…….