My boyfriend’s friend from back home (he said they were not close) very sadly committed suicide a couple of days ago. My boyfriend has supposedly been a wreck since then, and feels very guilty for not being closer to the guy and knowing what he was planning to do. He even sent a lot of money to the family yesterday for the funeral costs.
I’ve tried to be supportive and I’ve told him I’m here for him if he needs anything, I told him I could come over to keep him company, cook him dinner, whatever he needed, but he refused. He said he wanted to join my friend and I for dinner last night, but ended up bailing at the last minute because he said he wanted to go home and be alone, because he was still too upset. I completely understood.
Today, I text him to see how he’s doing, and he tells me he’s doing better, but still upset because apparently the family released the guy’s suicide letters and video he had made before his death. I assumed he wanted another night alone, so I left him alone.
He just texted me (9pm at night) saying he had gone shooting with him buddies and was happy that his one friend even came along.
Huh? So he doesn’t want to see me, but he’s fine enough to go hang out with his buddies? Is this normal? Did he just need guy time or something??
I know it’s really selfish, but I’m upset that he didn’t want my company, especially after he kept saying he was so upset, but was fine with going out with his guy friends.
Am I overreacting?
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tell him to try this
First of all realize that happiness is like fun it is a moment feeling.
Start Journal-ing become your own therapist, ask yourself who, what, where, when, why and how. In time you’ll have an easier time dismissing the “delusions” as soon as you get them. The delusions being that which causes you stress or uncomfortable feelings.
Start on the first page with the good things people say about you and what you like about yourself. Read it every morning make and entry one a week and work on it (the answer the 5 W’s and 1 H Questions above) weekly daily if you need to. Also figure out on paper different methods of dealing with things you need to address.
It’s easier said then done so keep trying in 6 months you will be able to tell the difference and if you keep at it – it can help you for life.
Contentment is more what we can dare hope for and that only comes when you do not compare your life and what you have and do, to anyone else’s life. You must be content with who you actually are, and what you actually have and what you can do. And that is to be the best YOU that you can be in finding that you will find fulfillment and contentment.
If you notice journals are in museums and have been a way of life for thousands of years.