We got engaged at the end of 2010. We had an idea of when to get married, summer 2012… Just because we wanted the summer and it was far enough away to plan.
My dad had cancer and a couple months after us being engaged we got bad news about how it was progressing. So I had to say to my fiancé… I really think we have to plan for our wedding to be this summer… And so we did. But I admit he wasn’t happy about it.
Then a month and a half to two months after that point my dad passed away. His family came to the wake and funeral and they seemed very very odd. There was nothing “there.”
My fiancé seems angry. Says he is not happy we are keeping the date. Says he feels he had no say in it.
Honestly, I just really felt in my heart it was right. I just had to change it to sooner. And a lot of plans were made in a short amount of time as well…
And now he is saying more how he is unhappy… I feel like his family hates me.
It’s only a few months away and I’m lost. How can I marry him if he is not happy? Why would he and his family have such a problem with the date? It isn’t a money reason or anything either. Nothing like that… It isnt that I don’t get what he is saying, I just don’t know why it’d be a problem.
I think I’ve been laying in bed crying and sulking for 5 hours now. With the wedding approaching in just a couple months I feel so sad…
Also my family and especially myself have all been so happy for this wedding even after my Dad’s death … Now I’m really lost. I feel silly even since my fiancé and apparently his family is not happy about the date.
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both, bride and groom, have to agree on a date.
Sit down with him and talk…find a date you are both happy with.
Do you really want to marry a man who doesn’t understand (and is angry about) how it was important to you to try and plan your wedding so your dad could be there?
I’m so very sorry to hear about your Dad!
In all honesty, even though he says it is and may even believe it is, I cannot believe that his misery/anger is due to changing the date. In the grand scheme of things that is a minor detail and no reason for him or (especially) his family to be being so friggin unpleasant towards you…particularly since you have just suffered such a terrible loss.
Something else has to be going on. If you can’t find out, I would tread carefully. In the remote option that the source of all this drama is the date…I would tread double carefully.
I wish you luck and happiness!
So, so sorry for your loss!
It seems you just need to sit down and talk with him and get some straight answers. Go to a counselor or neutral 3rd party if you must.
im to am sorry to hear of your loss..
it seems very clear that you should simply say toyour man. “i understand you are un happy. what can we do to change that? i love you and i want you to be happy. if you want to wait to have the wedding we can.” only say it if youmean it tho. if you are goin to spend the rest of your life with him it should be to bad to wait a lil while.. best of wishes, and i really hopeit works out
Did you bring the date forward because of your dads illness? If so i would take it back to its original date. Im terribly sorry for your loss however i dont think its necessary to have it so close now.
If your FH is not happy about getting married in a few months, compromise and move the date to its original date. You cant marry a man that isnt happy about getting married. Its most likely just come up to quick on him and hes a little scared.
Sit down and talk to him. Ask exactaly how he is feeling and tell him how you are feeling. Only way to sort it out and for you to feel better about it and become happy and excited again.