1) My Aunt Maggie is throwing a fit because she doesn’t like the plan of the tables/chairs.
I was going to have the alter with the isle runner and either side of the runner have the tables and chairs set up in an alternating pattern, with the food/drinks off to the side out of the way and have a seperate table for the wedding party. Its less hastle and we don’t have to move everything, but she’s throwing a fit, I told her its my wedding not hers. The only reason she’s doing this is cause my BM is her daughter.
2) My aunt Debbie, is a real b*****, we haven’t gotten along in yrs, nobody in my family likes her. I have always gotten along with my uncle though. My problem is, I want to invite him to the wedding, but not her. I’m afraid though, if I invite just him it will create even more drama because I didn’t invite her. If he does come though, he will most likely bring her and we do not want her there, which will cause more drama when we ask her to leave.( my fiance recently decided he didn’t like her when she was more concered about my clothes than my being alright after I passed out yesterday at a funeral. She is also one of those people that would criticize everything, including my dress )
What should i do? I don’t want to create any drama, but i got a feeling its going to happen. I’m tempted to create a sitting arrangement so there will be limited drama.
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I’ll answer your 2nd question first. If you invite your uncle, and he’s married to your aunt Debbie, even though she’s a real witch, you have to invite her. It’s just the height of rudeness to invite ANYONE to a wedding and not invite their spouse.
As far as your Aunt Maggie is concerned, unless she’s paying for the wedding, she doesn’t get a single say, and her behavior is pretty uncalled for. What I would do in your situation is ask whichever parent of yours is her sibling (is she your mom’s or dad’s sister?), and ask them to talk with her, and have them explain, rather point blank, that if she doesn’t like the wedding plans, too bad. It’s not her wedding. I’ve been to weddings for my nieces and nephews that I wasn’t crazy about the way things were done, but it’s wasn’t my wedding. If that’s what you want to do, then fine. If she doesn’t like it, she can stay at home. Have a parent talk to her. This is what parents are for.
DEFINITELY in your case have assigned seats/tables. Unless you have a very small reception, having a seating chart is a good idea anyway. Just assign folks to specific tables, rather than particular seats. But if you need to assign seats for the ceremony, then by all means do so.
Good luck! There’s nothing like dealing with those “fam damilies,” as my mom puts it!
You handled the first problem correctly….she should have been told to pound sand (politely). Pointing out that it’s YOUR wedding not HERS was perfect..
You have to invite the infamous Aunt Debbie..it is rude to ignore half of a married couple no matter what the reason and it will cause far more drama if you don’t, during and after the wedding.
its your day and you have every right to make it what you want. you can pick who you want to be there and who you dont its all about you
1 – Tell Aunt Maggie to either deal with it or leave.
2 – You must decide if having your Aunt Deb is worth it for just 1 person you like while it may cause the strain on others who clearly are against it.
tell the aunts to back off it is your day your way
“Maggie” sounds like a *****.
Do the sitting arrangement that you want.
Peace.
You do, and plan what you want to do. It is your wedding, not theirs. If you Must put your foot down to remind them of that, than so be it. Don’t worry about causing any more drama than they have already caused. It is none of their business, quite personally. As far as your Aunt Debbie is concerned, don’t invite her. She sounds petty and stuck up. Tell your uncle if he would like to come, he must come alone. It’s sad that you have to invite one or the other, but nobody wants a B**** at their wedding!
Hoo-yah to basketcas; but, do not invite aunt or uncle, he knows who/what he is married to, he won’t be surprised by no invite. You can call him later privately if you want to. And this Aunt Maggie, well bc is right, let your parent/s talk to her and tell her to put a bean in it, if she gets mad so what, but, she may well just seem to be a busy body with nothing better to do, so do you give her something simple to do or listen to her, let it go in one ear and out the other/??? Really, it is none of her business and someone may have to tell her so, unless she is putting the cash where her mouth is. Can be done nicely, if done in the right way and she won’t know what hit her till it’s over. Or tell her and this is mean, but that you are not happy about the seating/eating plan and to think hard about it and give you ten different options. That should keep her busy for a while. Sorry, guess it’s seeing the old year go out, it was a bad one for me. Just remember, it is YOUR wedding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… does your Mom have to say about all of this??? Keep the peace at all costs??? Heard that before, start out as you mean to go on and remember, “he who angers you, controls you”—unfortunately, everyone has an opinion and is always willing to give it, asked or not. Just try to let it fly like ashes in the wind and go ahead and do what you want anyway. Just act like you agree with everybody and then do you own thing.
To answer number 2 first, you can not possibly invite your uncle without inviting his wife! It isn’t done and if you do so, you will be the one in the wrong, even if your Aunt Debbie is the worst woman in the world. Invite them both or invite neither.
Now, for you first question, it sounds like you are planning to have the food set up during the ceremony. Is that the case? If that’s how you want it, it isn’t your aunt’s place to say a thing about it. It doesn’t matter if her daughter is the bridesmaid. However, your aunt does have a point in that this is not the usual or best way of doing it. The best way is to have the ceremony in one space and the reception in another, but if you don’t want to, you can politely tell your aunt that this is the way you’ve decided to do things and that she needn’t trouble herself about it.
Best wishes to you!
It is your wedding to be done your way. When they comment/complain. Just say, It is my wedding, you did yours, This is mine done my way. I love you but if you don’t like the way I’m doing it, please stay home. No attitude, but mean what you say and hold your position. Remind them again you love them, but it is going to be your way, not theirs. You really wish that they could be there to celebrate with you, but if they feel that attending is not for them it is ok, and you understand.
My first reaction was “ELOPE!”
But if you have to have a wedding…
Have the parent related to Aunt Maggie tell her to butt out. Not her wedding, not her child, not her place to have an opinion.
Invite uncle ? but have a private conversation with him a week or two before the wedding and gently tell him your issues with his wife and ask him to keep her under control. Seat them at the back of the room.
Keep in mind that no wedding ever goes perfectly. Do what you want, how you want and have fun. Don’t worry about opinions or criticisms. It’s your day to enjoy.
You need to tell Aunt Maggie to bug off. I know she’s a pain, so is my aunt, but they’ll get the picture eventually. That’s really the only solution for people like that.
Debbie is more tricky. I understand how scary it is to allow someone who could ruin your day to come, because I’m doing it. It’s just a matter of biting your tongue and swallowing your pride. My aunt, dad, and paternal grandparents are invited to my wedding, even though I know that it makes me sick to my stomach just to talk to them. I’m trusting that, on a day so wonderful, everyone will be on their best behavior and that I will be able to stay on cloud nine regardless.
By the way, I LOVE the way you’re setting up the tables along the aisle.
Best of luck!