My partner and myself found out i was preganant just before christmas, and we were both really happy! and excited! we spoke about names, named the unborn baby sam! we even planned our entire future! we started baby shopping and everything!
however shortly after, my partners nan died, and his mum fell very seriously poorly! My grandmother became blind in both eyes very suddenly! after all this stress i began having problems with the preganancy! I was already told the pregnancy would be about 3 times harder to cope with for me than any ‘normal’ women, due to previous and current health problems! when i got to 8 weeks it became so difficult i was sleeping for 16+ hours, throwing up 1-3 times a day, permanent pain, back problems causing so much pain i struggled to get around, and stomach cramps so bad i’d be bent double in tears!! It was not easy but we both loved our baby!
I’m the only person that lives close enough to my grandma to visit regularly, so I have been popping over around college, but since i started getting more ill i werent able to, and I was missing alot of college!
my partner and I hadnt yet found somewhere to live and he very thoughtfully and kindly used his savings to help his family (he’s everyones superhero! 
) so we were stressed more by how we were going to fund this baby!
we went back to the doctors for help and she said that my symptoms would persist and could become worse until around 3 months! we both decided its putting so much strain on my body that after the preganacy it would take so long to recover and i could become permanantly worse than i was before! neither of us wanted to risk that!
So due to my health issues (which sometimes i think is selfish of me! but i wouldnt be a good mum if i was ill) and due to my partners family circumstances, me needing to care for my grandma and the sudden lack of home or money meant we had to make the decision to abort the baby!:’(
we are both struggling with this but we really have no other option!
Once i’m better, my body will cope and we can start again!
I’m having the surgical abortion tomorrow, while my partners at his nans funerel (this is the only appointment they have for another 2 weeks) so i have to go through this tomorrow on my own, and hes going to the funerel alone!
What i want to know is….
does this abortion hurt the baby, does it feel pain?
what will help me cope alone?
what can i say and do to comfort my partner at such a difficult time?
how soon after will i begin to feel better?
will all my syptoms stop straight away?
I work on a farm, how long shoudl i wait before i return to prevent infection etc (bareing in mind its sheep)?
how long till i’ll be fit enough to look after my grandma?
is there anything i can do to ease the emotional pain? (we cant have a funeral for an unborn child, so how do we mark the end?)
what are my chances of completing a full healthy preganacy in a few years?
what can i do to help my partners family cope? without interfering? (they dont like me much, think i shouldnt be getting an abortion, and feel when ever they see me that it reminds them! 
)
I just would like to know whats the best thing to do after this?
thank you very much for any help and advice on any of this, its much apprecited!
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Are you sure you can’t put up with this for another 4 weeks?
Glad I scrolled down to see how much you wrote before getting into it
everyone has hard times you guys are very selfish you cant cope with anything life hands you Sad excuse for a person who claims they love something yeah you REALLY wanted the baby didnt you …you make me sick
You are sadly misguided if you don’t think that being sick and tired are a part of pregnancy!! Everything you are experiencing is totally normal! Suck it up and deal with it, because it won’t get better if you get pregnant again. Pregnancy is not a cake walk.
Personally I don’t think you should abort the baby. It sounds like you guys really want this. You will regret it in the future, which may make your problems worse then they are now. Do you really think that you will get over this? You will make this work. Everyone always seems to. What about getting a new job and not taking on everyone else’s stress. Good luck to you!
I’ve had to make the decision to have an abortion because life was just getting worse and I had health issues. If you are in doubt and worried that you could be ill forever then you should have the abortion. You can always get better and recover from it all and try to have another baby when you are ready. It would be hard to have a baby with barely any money, being sick, having family members sick and everything. I would suggest getting everything under control before having a baby. But if you think you can bear through it all then do it. No one is saying it is wrong of you to struggle with a baby, everyone struggles. When I had the abortion I though about not being able to have a funeral also, so to help ease my pain about that I went to a cemetary and found a grave for a baby (which happened to have the same name we were going to name our baby) and put a rose on it. It was very hard and even almost a year later it is still hard, but life will go on. I believe everything happens for a reason, no matter what choice you make. Good luck!!!!
I think you are making a bad choice, i know a few people who have had abortions and they deeply regret it. The baby wont feel pain he is not old enough yet. The sickness you are having will get better, there are programs that will help you with finances for the baby. You should keep him it is the greatest love you will ever have. As far as family goes love and laughter go along way in the healing process maybe having your boy around will have a positive impact on everyone. If you need someone to talk to my email is tim_monica07@yahoo.com, i promise i will talk to you and help research financial help in your area so your child will have a chance at life.
The sickness will go away after your sickness will go away after the third month and you will have a amazing jolt of energy!
I feel sorry for the baby and that was your decision i hope you dont regret what you are going to do im against abortion.
I personally don’t think you should abort the pregnancy. I’m a huge supporter of Pro Life, but other than that, your symptoms are typical of pregnant women. I went through them in the first couple months, but here’s the thing, THEY END. You are caring for a baby now, YOUR BABY. Abortion is death, and it is something you’ll regret your entire life. Your doctor even said this will only last till 3 months. You are already having a hard time with the emotional conflicts, imagine after the abortion how you’ll feel.
The baby doesn’t feel any pain and is the size of a poppy seed blob right now.
You will just have to think about that this is the right thing for you at the time.
You both need to look at what is best for you and your child.
You will be really groggy because of the medications that they put you on for the surgery but after they go away you should only feel some cramps.
No, your symptoms will go away after a few days when your body realizes what is going on.
I would wait to go back to work until you are ready, you could feel fine the same day or bad cramps for a few days.
You could look after your grandmother the same day.
I’m not sure what to do about the remembrance thing, you will never forget it though.
Your chances of having a healthy pregnancy later on are good, unless there is a complication with the surgery but that is rare.
Basically you shouldn’t have to prove what your doing to anyone, they aren’t in your situation and don’t have the issues, they are just looking on and judging.
The best thing to do after wards? Sleep.
Honestly, in a way I can understand where you are coming from. But really, I think you are rushing into this. My last pregnancy I was much worse, I was vomiting 5-20 times a day, sleeping 12 hours at night, plus 2-6 hours of napping during the day. I was dizzy, light headed all the time. I went through 5 months of this just to give birth to my son stillborn at 20 weeks. It was all for nothing. Trust me, what you are going through is NORMAL!!! Please reconsider, even if you don’t want to keep the baby, please think of other options.
You know you litarly killing a baby believe I was in the same position same things you had almost exactly but i pulled through and I’m glad I did my baby girl is beautiful. Just think bout it what if your mom had an abortion because of a little problems…don’t give up please please that baby could do so much heck he or she could be a president someday.
I think you shouldn’t kill your baby, but then it’s your choice, not ours you are going to do what you are going to do anyway. But if you keep it you will suffer for a while but it ends and what a great reward you will have, and everything always seems to work out if you have some faith! As they say what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Good luck.